


Call That a Mercy

by raving_liberal



Category: Captain America (Movies), Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: Avengers: Endgame (Movie) Compliant, Bathtubs, Bubble Bath, Character Study, Gen, Post-Avengers: Infinity War Part 1 (Movie)
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-11-27
Updated: 2019-11-27
Packaged: 2021-02-26 06:00:16
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,094
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21578749
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/raving_liberal/pseuds/raving_liberal
Summary: The little things are what get you through the big things.ORNatasha takes Steve to Lush.
Relationships: Steve Rogers & Natasha Romanov
Comments: 6
Kudos: 24
Collections: Happy Steve Bingo 2019





	Call That a Mercy

**Author's Note:**

> For the Happy Steve Bingo 2019 prompt: Fancy Bath Products

The tub in the townhouse isn’t big enough. In Steve’s experience, few tubs are big enough for him now, except for the really big ones at fancy hotels, the kind with jets, often set below a picture window with an exceptional view. Before the serum, he was able to fit just fine in any tub. The way Bucky told it, Steve could have fit into a metal bucket back then. Steve doesn’t remember ever bathing in a bucket, though he supposes it’s possible he did as a young child. He’d often seen small children being bathed in galvanized steel wash tubs in courtyards and on landings in the neighborhood. He had been an uncommonly small child; a bucket bath seems probable. 

One thing the tub does have going for it, apart from simply existing within a space that belongs wholly to Steve and also producing a seemingly unlimited amount of hot water, is the large box of fancy bath products. Once Steve had settled into his new post-Snap, more-or-less civilian lifestyle, Natasha had dragged him to Turnstyle Underground Market near the Park. After stuffing him full of dumplings, noodles, and doughnuts, she’d led him to Lush and announced she wasn’t letting him leave until he bought something. 

To both their surprise, Steve actually enjoyed himself, picking up all the bath bombs to smell them and trying not to cringe at the price tag. He ended up going home with one of each variety. A few days later, Natasha appeared on his doorstep with a decorative wooden box to hold all his new bath products. Steve keeps the box on the wood and steel bathroom shelving he’d ordered from Wayfair. He’s refilled it several times since living in the townhouse, stocking up on the seasonal bath bombs and bubble bars. He even bought some face masks and shaving soap for cleaning up around his beard. His skin has never looked so good. 

The size of the tub _is_ an issue sometimes, though, like tonight, when he really wishes he could dunk his entire body in the hot water beneath the minty-scented bubbles. He thought he would have started adjusting to things by now, but no matter what he tells everyone else, no matter what he claims to believe, he can’t really let go of the idea that they still have a chance to bring everyone back. He lets his legs and arms dangle over the sides of the clawfoot tub so he can submerge his body. He’s probably a comical sight, with just his limbs and his face visible above the bubbles, if only someone were there to see him. 

Steve is startled from his self pity by his ringing phone. He keeps it on the shelf next to the wooden box when he’s in the bathroom, much to Natasha’s dismay. He still isn’t sure if she disapproves of phones in the bathroom in general or of his phone in his bathroom in particular. After drying one hand on a towel, Steve answers the call and turns on the speaker.

“Steve Rogers speaking.”

“Always so formal,” Natasha teases. She sounds tired, which isn’t out of the ordinary, though Steve wouldn’t say so to her face. 

“Some of us were raised in a time when manners meant something,” Steve says, sliding back down into the tub. “How are you, Nat?”

“Are you in the tub?” she asks. 

“Of course not,” Steve says, sinking a little deeper into his mountain of bubbles. The water sloshes audibly.

“You’re definitely in the tub,” Natasha says with a laugh. “Which bath bomb are you using tonight?”

“The polar bear bubble bar.”

“Oh, that one was so cute!”

“Yeah,” Steve says. “I had a hard time crumbling him up. I snapped him in half and started with the back half. He’s just the front half of a polar bear now.” A completely inappropriate thought crosses Steve’s mind, and he has to use all his willpower to squelch it. 

“Aww, poor thing,” Natasha says. 

“Yeah,” Steve agrees, biting down on his bottom lip to keep from breaking into awful, awful giggles.

“Steve?” Natasha asks. “You okay?”

“Mmhmm,” Steve says, then almost chokes as he tries to break off a snort of laughter.

“Steve Rogers, what is so funny?” Natasha demands. 

“It’s nothing.”

“It’s definitely something!”

“It’s terrible,” Steve says, snorting again. “Really terrible.”

“Well, since you’ve already told me it’s terrible, you might as well tell me what it is,” Natasha says, sounding perfectly reasonable, which makes Steve lose the battle against the laugh.

“It’s just,” Steve says, pausing to laugh again, “I snapped him,” he laughs again, “in half.”

“Right,” Natasha says.

“And now.” He snickers and snorts again. “Only half of him’s left.” Steve lets out another peal of manic laughter.

“Steve,” Natasha begins.

“Uh huh?”

“Are you picturing what it would have been like if the Snap had—”

“—just cut everybody in half at the middle, yeah,” Steve confesses, tears streaming down his face as he keeps laughing. “Top fifty percent only. Everybody would be here, but nobody would have any legs.”

Natasha sighs, though she also sounds like she’s trying to keep from laughing. 

“Or asses,” Steve adds, which gets him that laugh. “No asses at all on the whole planet.”

“Some people might call that a mercy,” Natasha says, then she hums slightly in thought. “No penises, either.”

“Some people might call that mercy, too, Nat,” Steve says. Natasha cackles in response. They spend the next couple of minutes just listening to each other laugh as Steve’s bubbles pop and the water cools. Finally, they both calm down enough to speak again.

“Wow. I needed that,” Natasha says.

Steve tips his head back to thunk against the edge of the tub. “Yeah. Me too.”

“You want to hit up Lush tomorrow and see if they still have the polar bears?” Natasha asks.

“Only if we do lunch at the dumpling place, too,” Steve says.

“It’s a deal,” Natasha says. “Now get your ass out of the tub before you go all pruney.”

“Yes ma’am.”

The little things: that’s how they’re going to survive this. Ultimately, it’s how they’re going to solve it, too. They have to hold onto the small pleasures in life to keep themselves from breaking, so that they’re strong enough to work the problem. For Steve, that means giving himself permission to enjoy bath bombs, dumplings, and the company of one of his best friends. It’s not enough, but it’s what he’s got, and if it’s not perfect, at least his skin look great.


End file.
